


Flowers in the water

by amaerilis



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Blood and Injury, Character Death, Grief/Mourning, Hurt No Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Language of Flowers, M/M, Major Character Injury, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-01
Updated: 2020-11-01
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:09:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27316798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amaerilis/pseuds/amaerilis
Summary: Hisoka stood in the door opening, unable to move closer to the hospital bed. He was lost in his thoughts, examining the bandaged wrists of his darling.Guess the Zoldyck training did not include a guide to stable mental health.
Relationships: Hisoka & Illumi Zoldyck, Hisoka/Illumi Zoldyck
Comments: 6
Kudos: 84





	Flowers in the water

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this work for #hxhoctober2020 day 16: Mortality

It is a well-known fact that Hisoka Amorrou is strange. This is not strictly limited how he behaves, the man in question has a bizarre atmosphere he seems to bring with him wherever he goes. Such an atmosphere would make any living being think twice before approaching him, however, two exceptions existed for this unspoken rule. These outliers were no less strange than the man in question, Illumi Zoldyck and just about every flower to have ever existed never once swayed in Hisoka’s menacing presence. For this reason alone, Hisoka couldn’t seem to get enough of either of those, especially when he was able to perceive them together. 

Anyone who had at least one eye could tell how beautiful the eldest Zoldyck child really was, if you managed to look past the unsightly acts he committed on a daily basis, that is. 

The flowers were a completely different story. These beautiful plants never once flinched in the redhead's presence, always standing proud whenever he stopped to study them in closer detail, much like his beloved darling. 

Hisoka Amorrou truly used to like flowers, he loved them really, a couple of the man’s favorites included; sunflowers, acacias and lilies. He loved them so much that he had allowed himself to entertain the idea of opening a flower shop on several occasions in the past. This idea was however not quite realistic as the issue of Hisoka’s deadly aura was still ever so present. The only achievable option to satisfy the magicians love for these plants was probably tending to some plants of his own, which he did. His apartment in Heavens’s Arena was full of the bloom, everywhere you looked there was at least one flower to make up for the used space. 

In short, Hisoka really liked flowers. 

The strange man couldn’t really pinpoint the start of his affinity for flowers, all he knew that it only got stronger when he met his love, and completely wilted along with him. He likes to refer to it as ‘the incident’ in a desperate attempt to play down the importance of what really happened. In the following months, or maybe weeks – Hisoka couldn't keep track anymore – he didn’t know what he was supposed to do. 

He had dumbly circled that date in his calendar, the one he threw away after staring at it for several hours per day, failing to turn back the time with every attempt. This happened quite regularly after his flower wilted. 

After several days of repeating this routine, the magician got sick of this vicious circle and impulsively thew the damned calendar out of his 200th story floor. Immediate regret had washed over him and he almost dove right after the calendar before a rapt on the door interrupted his actions. It was one of the Heaven Arena’s receptionists who came to remind Hisoka of the soon approaching fight between two floor masters he was invited to attend. Hisoka politely declined and looked at his watch to see how much time had passed this time around by emptily staring at the now discarded calendar. Only 3 hours and half apparently, this was one of the less longer time periods he spent mourning, if one could call it that. 

Hisoka noticed that his watch had started ticking out of sync with the clock on his phone. He should get that fixed soon, or maybe not. 

However hard he tried to hold on, the days flowed into each other after Hisoka unknowingly stopped caring. He lost track of them rather quickly after his flower drowned himself. 

The day of the incident was a complete blur for Hisoka, all he could remember is how beautifully and undisturbed his flower floated just underneath the surface of the red tinted water, not moving or breathing. Of course, Hisoka was no fool, he could tell there was nothing he could do to bring him back to life, it was far too late for any semblance of hope. 

Yet still, he couldn’t help his futile efforts to change the current predicament. 

All his attempts at waking up his lover turned out fruitless and by the time the emergency services arrived at the magician's apartment, he already knew nothing could wake up his darling. 

The paramedics could only do so much for a dead person. 

When he eventually saw his partner lay on his hospital bed surrounded by all those fragrant and fresh flower bouquets sent from the mourning Zoldyck’s, Hisoka couldn't bring himself to approach the still figure. He was convinced they didn’t actually care about his beloved, they were just sad that they lost a valuable asset.

Hisoka stood in the door opening, unable to move closer to the bed. He was lost in his thoughts, examining the bandaged wrists of his darling. 

Guess the Zoldyck training did not include a guide to stable mental health.

Illumi Zoldyck was dead and Hisoka couldn’t deny it anymore. 

At Illumi’s wake, Hisoka was once again greeted by the abundance of flowers surrounding a picture of him, taken when he was alive and as well as he could be. Which clearly wasn’t a lot. 

He truly hated that sight. 

He hated the sight of the flowers beaming at him like nothing was wrong, he hated the sight of the false bloom surrounding his very own flower, seemingly swallowing up his brilliance.

The flowers were an ironic sight really, as they were always associated with the arrival of spring and new beginnings. Hisoka had never hated the sight of flowers more than in that precise moment. 

The funeral attendees consisted of Kikyo and Silva Zoldyck, his grandfather Zeno Zoldyck and a handful of past clients who had Illumi do their dirty work for them. All in all, it was a pretty sad bunch. 

Kikyo was too quiet, one would think she’d be in hysterics throughout this whole ordeal, but she stayed silent all the way through. It was only when you looked closely at her face that you could see her lip trembling ever so slightly. 

Silva was no different, his stoic gaze was strictly focused on the gravestone, only speaking when it was his turn to give a speech. The moment Illumi’s father spotted Hisoka in the sparce group of people, he sighed and continued speaking for the group. 

After the service was over, the attendees slowly started filtering out, leaving Hisoka and the Zoldyck’s alone in complete silence. This peace was only broken by Silva who walked over to Hisoka, looking down on him thanks to the few inches he had over the magician. 

“Why was Illumi found in your apartment? Did you play a part in his suicide?” Silva’s tone was dry, it always was when he interacted with the strange man. 

“Lovely seeing you here Silva, I didn’t think you would actually care enough to show up.” Now that Hisoka didn’t have to care about Illumi ignoring him for 3 days straight when he purposefully disrespected his father, the redhead could say whatever he so pleased. 

“Answer my questions Hisoka.” 

Well then, guess it’s long past the time for any inhibitions. 

“As you probably know, Illumi and I were very close, it’s only natural for him to come over every once in a while. This time around however, he refused to say anything. I’m sure you know what he looked like when he arrived at my door, you were the one who was responsible for his state of being after all. I don’t think I need to remind you of how bloody and bruised he was, or do I?” Silva stayed silent, unable to deny the accusation. 

“To answer your second question, I believe it’s best that you ask yourself first, don’t you think so too, _Kikyo_?” Hisoka continued speaking after not getting any reaction from Silva, now turning his head towards Kikyo, making direct eye contact with the odd contraption that covered her eyes.

Before she could say anything, Hisoka continued voicing his opinions loud and clearly. 

“Besides, do you really think I would drive Illumi to suicide? You must have known that my only intention was for him to die by my own hands, lest he killed me first of course. No, you see, this is entirely your fault, and I’m sure you know this very well Silva. There is no point in blaming me for something so heinous. Even I have standards of my own, believe it or not.” Hisoka’s glowering eyes were fixated on Silva, full of distaste. 

The silence that followed was almost awkward. 

Zeno coughed and pulled the attention towards him, his eyes stared insistently at Silva, communicating silently. The elderly man turned around after giving Hisoka an almost sorry look. Silva and Kikyo eyed Hisoka one last time before turning around to follow Zeno towards their car. 

As the magician watched them leave, he wondered where the other Zoldyck children were. Hisoka knew that Kalluto had joined the spiders right after he left, the youngest Zoldyck probably didn’t care enough to be present, neither did Milluki apparently. As for Killua it was hard to tell if he even received the news of Illumi’s passing. Not that it was hard to access this information, especially since his death was circulating all around social networks. 

The reactions however were all the same; relief. 

Now that one of the most powerful assassins in the world passed away, plenty of people could let out the breath that they were secretly holding in. 

Hisoka returned his gaze towards the somber headstone, now properly focusing on the flowers surrounding it. When he noticed that there was a peculiar flower bouquet he didn't take notice of earlier, laying on the grave. 

White orchids, five of them, were wrapped neatly in a simple bouquet, an interesting choice for sure. 

When the jester went to bury his hands in his pockets, he noticed the wedding band he had stored in there. Hisoka pulled out the ring and stared at it for a while, wondering what he would do with the jewelry now that it had no living recipient. 

“Oh Illumi, what am I supposed to do with this engagement ring now?” eyeing the grave once more Hisoka decided to pull out the handkerchief stored in his other pocket. He wrapped the ring inside of the fabric, using Texture Surprise to mask it into the texture of the headstone, sticking it to its side. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t come back earlier, dear. The traffic was just awful.” a sorrowful smile graced Hisoka’s tired features. Getting a full night’s sleep was a rare occurrence for the man, his struggle had substantially increased after that incident. 

With one final glance towards the offending flowers, Hisoka turned around and took his leave.

Perhaps he could buy a keepsake in honor of his departed darling. He could use a distraction as well. 

The man knew that he wouldn’t be able to hold a grudge against all flora forever, especially considering it was currently the only living thing in the world that wasn’t repelled by his presence. Hence, he came to the conclusion that maybe he could reduce his current needs into one simple solution. 

“Perhaps Cyclamen could make a fine addition to my collection.” Hisoka murmured to himself whilst leaving the cemetery, but not for long. 

After all, what else was he supposed to do, if not bother Illumi even in his afterlife? 

**Author's Note:**

> Here's the list of flower symbolism I used (not all of them have links oops):
> 
> \- Sunflowers: Unwavering faith and unconditional love.  
> \- Acacias: Common practice in Hebrew tradition to plant an acacia at the head of a person's grave, particularly that of a loved one. (https://www.buildingbeautifulsouls.com/symbols-meanings/flower-meanings-symbolism/acacia-meaning-symbolism/)  
> \- Lilies: The lily often features in funerals because it also symbolizes transience and death.  
> \- White orchids: These flowers symbolize reverence & humility, innocence & purity or elegance & beauty making it the perfect flower for a funeral arrangement or sympathy bouquet. + 5. White Orchids One of the most important feelings you want to impart with your bouquet of “I'm sorry flowers” is that you actually really mean that you're regretful. That's where orchids come in, as they are the flower most associated with sincerity.  
> \- Cyclamen: It is a plant of lasting feelings and sincere affection. Thanks to its tuber, which allows it to withstand difficult conditions, the cyclamen is the flower of deep love. (... And this plant was most often given to children and young girls.) Later, the cyclamen was affirmed as a symbol of sincerity and lasting feelings.
> 
> Thank you @tiremax for proofreading <3


End file.
